My Very, Very Last — Seriously, I Mean It This Time — Non-Jewish Boyfriend

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Jewish and Christian Perspectives Series

Just call yourself Christians! But why do they say someone can’t be Jewish and Christian? We’re not talking about Jews who would prevent other Jews from belief in Jesus because they think disbelief in him is what separates Jews from gentiles. Nor are we talking about a segment of non-Jews who wouldn’t want Jews in their particular church.

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According to Jewish law, the religion is passed down through the mother, so if a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman, their children would.

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Jewish and christian dating

Interfaith marriage in Judaism also called mixed marriage or intermarriage was historically looked upon with very strong disfavour by Jewish leaders, and it remains a controversial issue among them today. In the Talmud and all of resulting Jewish law until the advent of new Jewish movements following the Jewish Enlightenment, the ” Haskala “, marriage between a Jew and a gentile is both prohibited, and also void under Jewish law.

The Talmud holds that a marriage between a Jew and a non Jew is both prohibited and also does not constitute a marriage under Jewish law. Interfaith marriage between a Jew and a non Jew is not even permitted in case of Pikuach nefesh.

Although Judaism and Christianity share common history, teachings and values, they are two distinct religions, with different beliefs and rituals, particularly.

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No one was particularly surprised that my sister and I — like half of all American Jews since — ended up marrying outside of our religion, she to a Quaker and I to a Catholic. Finding a Jewish mate just didn’t matter much to us. Our parents grew up with a strong sense of Jewish identity; how could they not? They still vividly recall the aftermath of the Second World War, when the horror of the Holocaust was revealed and the state of Israel was created.

Coming out of school, they faced discriminatory quotas and restrictions that limited their life choices. And during those years, most of their friends and dates were Jewish. My sister and I never assumed the same degree of Jewish identity. We assimilated easily, joined whichever groups we chose, dated both Jews and Gentiles. Marrying outside our religion was an uncomplicated decision.

And yet each of our interfaith marriages has created profound dilemmas. Glaser presents the stories of a dozen Jewish-Gentile couples from around the country, each grappling in their own way with disappointed parents, marital tension and questions over how to raise children. Glaser, a journalist, writes smoothly, shows a keen eye for detail and withholds judgment on her subjects. One thread that runs through Glaser’s stories is the reluctance of parents to accept an “outsider” into the family.

The absence of spirituality among many of those who opt to marry outside their religion emerges as another theme.

Perspective: I Am Tired of Being a White Christian Man’s Rebellion

My husband’s father and mother are Jews. My parents are both what Mr. Hitler would be pleased to call ‘Aryan’ Germans. I am an American-born girl, and the first to defend my Americanism in an argument; yet so strong are family ties, and the memory of a happy thirteen-month sojourn in the Vaterland a few years ago, that I frequently find myself trying to see things from the Nazis’ point of view and to find excuses for the things they do—to the dismay of our liberal-minded friends and the hurt confusion of my husband.

How to raise the kids is one of the many questions facing interfaith couples.

By Helen Coffey. This is the question posed by the man opposite me, the man with whom I am on a date. A first date, I might add. In a trendy, Soho cafe, surrounded by people. Lots of people. With ears.

Interfaith Dating (Jewish and Non-Jewish)